bang. bang.

i won’t waste my time strongly disliking someone or something.
it occupies too much room on my hard drive.
besides it’s exhausting and time consuming.

kindness. that’ll show ‘em, real good.
kill ‘em with kindness.

path

i like becoming familiar.
to others.
with places.

it is nice to recognize and be recognized.

i am getting comfortable and enjoying the familiar. whereas i once hated it and thought only new and different was remotely adequate.

i like that the new path from two years ago is now old and worn in. well worn with the good, bad and ugly of day to day life. i take comfort in that. i savour it.

one right

i can wholeheartedly believe there is only one way to do something.
one right way and a thousand (or more) wrong ways.
paralyzing. unimaginative.
i am peeling back the blinders and opening my tunnel vision.
the only wrong way is to think there is only one right way.

film 9

film 9

►

*this was not inspired by that horrific song blue by eiffel 65. ya know the one that goes: “i’m blue, da-ba-de-da-ba-da-da”. it was only in making this that i remembered the forgettable tune from the late 1990s. argh.

**last flick in the single digits.

button it.

beauty found in my mom’s button box.

seasick

i don’t know if i have the stomach for this.
my tummy is flipping and flopping, like a fish on a boat deck.

this landlocked prairie gal is seasick with thoughts of shipwreck.

i hope  you’ll come onboard and we have clear sailing.

ahoy matey?

scent

the smell is sweet and somehow comforting.
but if i think about it too much i recall:

the well.
the pump.
the outputs.
the seedling.
the sapling.
the tree.
the logging.
the processing.
the chemicals.
the smoke.
the darkening lungs.

but if i don’t let myself go beyond the scent, the mere hint, i take comfort.

finally not fake

fake it til you make it.
put on a happy face.
kill ‘em with kindness.
whatever adage you pick, i was trying to live it for the last year.
trying to make the most of an icky situation. but now, i can smile with ease and honesty, because i don’t need to hide how unhappy i am because i am unhappy no longer.

dreaming

i am dreaming with my eyes wide open.
i know what was.
i know what i contributed.
now i know more than ever before what i need and want.
i am letting my heart and imagination dream.
inspired by the jason collett song ‘bitter beauty‘

doubt

someone i trust very much has told me, on more than one occasion, that when i am unsure about what to do i need to sit on it and with it.

hence…